Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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