never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
