I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
