"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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