yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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