I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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