dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
