i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
