so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
