But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My vagina is officially offended.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize