Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
