Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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