I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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