Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
