i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize