ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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