come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
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he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
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What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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