We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
