my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
