My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
