guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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