also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
