I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
