He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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