He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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