An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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