This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've blown a few things in my day
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Randomize
