Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
