well you can't waste a boner
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i think i scared a bird with my dick
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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