yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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