My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
