I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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