went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
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Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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