I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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