her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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