that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
