i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
