you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
