Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
