I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
