How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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