Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
