dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
