New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize