i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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