You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
