Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
