Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
