4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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