dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
