i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
