Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
my poor anus
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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