If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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