If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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