week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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