Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother