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• (845): View more from New York

  Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.

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  These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm always drunk lately

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears

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  The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I think so and I think we were sober.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".

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• (310): View more from California

  I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?

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