Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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