im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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